Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
