take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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