Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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