There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
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