I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
