You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
