she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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