I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
