I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
