As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
