She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
