Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
