I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
