capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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