honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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