Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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