So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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