if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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