i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That accounts for only three of the penises
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
