Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
