I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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