quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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