Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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