better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
