Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
