; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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