We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it glows. i had to have it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
