His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
