So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
