i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
