He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize