Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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