just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
