uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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