if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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