Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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