do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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