It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
