FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
