I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
