I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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