you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
