i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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