how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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