So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
