When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
