The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
