i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
