There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
another moral hangover. fuck.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
