I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize