After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
