VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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