You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
