Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
