awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
