can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
